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Yes it might be that you are being ‘sensitive’ to their joke but then you have to consider that your reaction to the joke in this circumstance is influenced by the fact that they’ve also done A, B, and C, and actually, they might think that the joke is funny but you might not because it’s a veiled, passive aggressive chopping dig at you. It’s not up to anyone else to tell you about your own comfort levels or ‘correct’ them to fit around their own agenda. Some people aren’t bothered by certain things but that doesn’t invalidate your position.

And yes, some people aren’t bothered by certain things because they have empathy issues so as long as they ‘feel’ (they’re not tapping into many emotions) OK with something and like their perspective, they won’t understand what you’re ‘in a flap’ about.

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If you’re going to be like that, we might as well call it quits / not be friends anymore”.

If you don’t have the presence of mind and self-esteem to recognise what’s going on, you may default to second-guessing your feelings and switching to people-pleasing mode and then of course you become desensitised to what may be increasingly inappropriate behaviour or you don’t, but each time you feel upset or whatever, you shut it down with concerns of being “too sensitive”.

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I know based on certain difficult experiences from childhood or in relationships, I’ve been very ‘sensitive’ to certain things but actually, it was more often than not me recognising that I was in some way repeating an unhealthy pattern of behaviour.

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